Sunday, May 22, 2011

What would have been GAPS Intro Day 28

I finally figured out why my tachy issues came back. The day I started back on GAPS Intro (4/25) I went to donate blood. Later that day is when my heart was racing like crazy. It took me two weeks to realize that I was dealing with low blood volume due to the donation. Long story short, I even went to the ER one day and now I seem to be anemic. Well, I was that day but have been eating beef liver like crazy since then. I was retested last Wednesday and hope to have the results tomorrow. My sodium was also below normal and potassium was low normal. I eventually asked Dr. Cowan for some SR potassium which he actually prescribed. I am still not back to where I was, but it's better now. What a setback.

Because of all this GAPS intro really has not been going well at all and I sort of fell off the wagon Thursday night. We went to the new Brazilian restaurant in town and I decided to have a glass of wine. I had a big buzz from that one glass, despite all the food I ate, and on the way home chewed a piece of gum. At home I had dairy kefir that I had made from regular, store bought heavy cream and I put some Splenda in it. Not the end of the world and it's not like I ate a whole cheesecake, but considering the state of my health, digestive and overall, that really wasn't a smart thing to do. I am still sort of dealing with the reaction from dairy.

Of course now I am toying with the idea of starting over AGAIN. It's the perfectionism driving me to "do it right". I am even considering going off most of my supplements, including the progesterone cream and testosterone cream I had added back in, and starting from scratch adding one thing at a time. That would really be the biggest change and going back to eating boiled meats which I am not looking forward to. The other consideration is to use fermented veggie brine only - no commercial probees. I stopped the Custom Probiotics and the Berberine supplement about 3 days ago and I feel better. Not only am I having daily BMs, but I don't wake up with pain and a stiff body every day. I really wish I could figure out why I am reacting so strongly to beneficial bacteria.

All of this has put me in sort of a depressive mood. I am getting to the point where it's hard to see the end of the tunnel or where I believe that there is someone out there who can figure this out. I put a lot of hope into doing GAPS intro again, but that hope is slowly fading as well. If I can't increase beneficial bacteria then I am not really doing GAPS. So where does that leave me?

I still think that the strep and scarlet fever incident last year caused some kind of lasting problem - but how and why? That is what I want to discuss with Dr. Cowan tomorrow. I am tired of him ignoring the fact that I have not gotten better since then. There HAS to be some significance to it.

Today marks 915 days (or roughly 30 months or roughly 2.5 years) with a distended, uncomfortable abdomen as well as a host of other symptoms that have not improved. I feel overwhelmed, disappointed, scared, and don't know where to go from here. Spending one more day feeling the way I feel seems unbearable. Needless to say my ED issues are rampant right now. It's the only way I feel I can cope. I pray, I ask God for guidance, I ask Him for comfort but I feel nothing and I hear nothing. It's very discouraging...

Back to starting over....I will probably go back on proper GAPS Intro but will have to wait a while. Rachel, our former neighbor from Austin who is like a grandmother to us, is not doing so well. I am hoping to go see her next week and I won't even attempt to make broth there or take broth with me. I will just eat GAPS legal food and won't worry about the rest. This time I also plan on going to The Saltlick, my fav BBQ restaurant, while I am there. Last time I went to Austin I chose not to go and then regretted it. looks like I will be re-starting GAPS Intro June 1 which is perfect because Bob goes to LA for 7 days on June 2nd. Now if I could just wean off coffee by then that would be great. I have read for the third time now that coffee can mimic the gluten protein and if you are gluten intolerant you could react to coffee. UGH! I tried reducing a few days ago and the depression got even worse. I need to find something to replace the coffee with. Unfortunately green and black teas make me feel nauseated on an empty stomach (and stain my teeth horribly) and I don't eat anything in the morning. Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and go off cold turkey the same time I go back on intro. Sound like suicide? I think it does!!!


Suzy said...

I found your blog through our gapshelp list. I just want to tell you that I wish you the very, very best!! This is HARD! I am only on day 8 or so of the intro. Wow! what a butt-kicker! I hope you can do your very best and then get re-started June 1st. Well wishes, Suzy

Suzy said...

I'm sorry, I wanted to say more! I KNOW God is helping you. I have wondered too if He is there too, in the hard times. But I know that He is there. He led you to His diet and His help. Please don't give up, and don't lose faith! He gives us trials so that we can learn and prove ourselves. We grow so much from them!

Also, I would give up the coffee asap. Go through that hardship FIRST and then go back on gaps intro. Those headaches are gonna be killer. Treat yourself with love and kindness! I wish you all the blessings in the world. Love, Suzy

Me said...

Hi Suzy - thank you for the comments and your encouragement. I appreciate it and I wish you all the best as well and most of all - HEALTH!!