Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Fall Fast Day 11

I woke up with a headache, swollen eye lids, puffy face, fatigue, heart rate in the 150s, weak, dizzy, and out of it. Blood sugar was 77. My stomach was just slightly distended below the belly. I had some watered down black tea and half a cup of water with some organic lime juice and sea salt. Roughly 30 minutes later I had the pregnant belly and my back started to hurt. Not only is it incredibly uncomfortable, but it is utterly frustrating that some water with lime juice and sea salt would cause me to be this distended. I am SO incredibly tired of this f-ing abdominal distention and constant,  non-stop, excessive hunger. If I could get rid of those two symptoms alone, my life would be so much easier, less frustrating, and more enjoyable.

I am angry at God, too. I am not asking him to allow me to eat cheesecake or crap without consequences. All I am asking is to be able to eat healthy, nourishing, wholesome food without feeling like utter crap. And I would like to know the friggin' cause of the abdominal distention and excessive hunger. I am not even asking Him anymore to take them away, I just want to know WHY I have these symptoms so I can address them. Not to have control over what is happening in my body is one of the worst things I have had to deal with in my life and I absolutely hate it.

There, that's my rant and blow up for the day!


Jacey said...

I'm praying that God comforts you, brings peace and understanding about your circumstances and heals your body completely.

I'm very sorry that you are sick. I've only read your blog a few times (just recently stumbled on it) but I hope you get better soon!

- Jacey

Me said...

Thank you for your prayers. It is very much appreciated.