Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I Feel Like Death

Yesterday I took all supps/meds except Diflucan, clay, and my berberine/GSE supp. Throughout the day I was starting to feel worse and worse. My body was "expanding" and by evening, my jeans which had been loose earlier in the day, were skin tight on my thighs, hips, and butt. My stomach was more distended than usual, my whole body was achy and I just felt uncomfortable.

I woke up this morning with both eye lids swollen - here lately only my right eye lid has been swollen - a headache, backache, calf pain, fatigue, heart racing at 160 with blood pressure 97/72, not cognitive, angry, and just feeling plain old miserable. I was supposed to get blood drawn but changed my appointment to tomorrow. I just didn't feel like going and just wanted to crawl back into bed. I did have to go to the post office at 8 AM and when I got in my car I could barely get it out of gear. We have had problems with the clutch on and off but no amount of pumping the clutch worked. I had checked the fluid on Sunday and (thought) it was fine. Took Bob's truck and when I got back checked my car again - nothing. I called our mechanic who said to have it towed in. Luckily we have 100 miles of towing with AAA. As it turns out the clutch fluid had leaked. After refilling it I was able to shift but still didn't want to chance driving it to the mechanic myself.

When I hung up the phone I just burst into tears. Not because of the car, or the die off, or anything in particular, I think I am just really emotional FROM die off and things came crashing in on me. I started thinking about how miserable I have been feeling for years, how long it has been since I have worked, how far behind I am in my field (database programming), how awful I feel after eating, what a long read I have ahead of me, etc. and I felt overwhelmed. I sat there and cried for a bit and then picked myself up and started cleaning up the kitchen.

The car has been towed now and I am about to jump in the tub. I am glad that I have to stop all supps today because of the urine and stool tests this weekend. Monday I will go back on everything and it's a good thing DH will be out of town while I am going through major herxing.

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