When will this end?

I am deep in the throws of this eating disorder again. I do great for a while and then it just hits me and I feel I can't cope any longer and I give in. Having still unresolved and more so, undiagnosed health issues is frustrating to say the least. Feeling awful every single day after eating for 18 consecutive months, is more than I feel I can deal with. I JUST want it to be over. There has got to be an answer, a solution. I feel like I am so close.

I made an appointment with an internal medicine physician. I am going to ask him to order a barium enema x-ray. Not that I am looking forward to such a procedure, but it would show if there really is a colon stricture or obstruction. I hope he will agree to order this test. Something is wrong and it's more than "just" fungal overgrowth. I got the results of the organic acid (urine) test back and it shows that I still have really high fungal overgrowth. How is that possible after all this time on a clean diet, anti-fungals, probiotics, detox baths, ferments, etc. It just doesn't make sense.

But right now I just want this day to be over. Tomorrow will be hard...the day after relapsing always is. I know it will be a struggle to get back on track but I have to. For my own sanity and for the sake of everybody in my life.